Astro Presents: Wrath of the Black Prince!

[Prince Auron Nymeros Martell]

> *Screenshot of visibly relieved peasant*

"Oh, that would explain the clinking sound I heard. I feared it was blades, being prepared to slit my throat! So what is a learned man such as yourself traveling on this road for? Don't you know the Black Prince roams these parts?"

1. " The only prince I'm concerned with is at Dragonstone. Prince Stannis requires a maester with some practical knowledge of the Higher Mysteries. Though honestly, he'd be better off with a good mummer in this day and age..."

2. "Grand Maester Pycelle has just passed, and the Conclave believes I might take his place. Of course, I have to impress His Grace the King first. Wasn't aware of any Black Prince though? Do you mean Prince Joffrey or..."

3. "Sorry, friend, I'm to serve in a small country keep, far from any royal affairs. Who is this Black Prince you speak of?"

4. "If you must know, my old lord just passed away without issue and his kin have... doubts about my loyalty. So now I am on my way to serve a new manse, one with far more kith and kin to look after. But who is this Black Prince that frightens you so? Surely not Joffrey, he'll likely be stripped of his position soon enough."

[Mortifer the Monstrous]

2

[Prince Auron Nymeros Martell]

(Chris)



> *screenshot of visibly relieved peasant*

"Aye, I've heard of the Mountain that Rapes. Rides at his master's side, dreamin' of nothin' more than killin' his brother and satisifyin' his unholy lusts. You'll find him in these parts alright. Might even hear word of him at the Grumpkin's Delight, only an hour down the road. Miss Margaery hears everythin', she does."

1. "Excellent, I could use a good fling in the hay while I'm at it! Lord Beric won't mind a slight delay in the pursuance of my mission, I'm sure."

2. "Bears a good look over, I suppose. And you can hardly miss a great brute like Gregor Clegane besides. I will find him."

3. "Be warned, if this is a trick, I'll slit your gizzard before you can ask for penance from the Stranger. I've fought my way out of enough bandit hideouts and pirate coves to know a trap! Lead the way, mate."

[Lucion Lannister]

1

[Prince Auron Nymeros Martell]

(Zack)



>*Screenshot of visibly relieved peasant*



"Oh, a Grand Maester! I hadn't the faintest notion! Forgive me, Your Eminence! And aye, milord, it is indeed Joffrey I speak of. He was recently disinherited and now he torments the countryside. I do not know when His Grace will send salvation our way, but I shouldn't think the Black Prince would be particularly merciful to any maester, grand or not."

1. "Fear not, I did not expect to be known yet. You certainly showed more deference than that farmer's ignorant brats a mile back! Ah well, such is the chain we wear... this new crisis will no doubt mark the first page of my biography."

2. "Oh no, I'm just a candidate! There will be half a dozen of us no doubt! I'm not even sure why I was nominated, nor what I would do about this Joffrey affair. I'll be lucky to even see the Iron Throne, I expect! Still, it is my purpose to serve, and I hope I am worthy of this chain I wear."

3. "Oh thank the Seven! I couldn't imagine sitting on that monster's Small Council! I was half-tempted to feign illness and try to get a better job in some nowhere castle where sanity still reigns! Duskendale, per chance..."

[Mortifer the Monstrous]

1

[King Artys V Arryn]

Dec 7, 2015 3:20:55 GMT Prince Auron Nymeros Martell said:

(Jon)

> *screenshot of visibly embarrassed peasant*

"Not a brothel, no, certainly not licensed by the Crown... but it is well reputed for the friendliness of its working staff. Miss Margaery, the owner, used to work in one of those big fancy King's Landing brothels owned by the old Master of Coin."

1. "Well, it is not my place to judge the past or present circumstances of other lives. All I seek is a warm bed to rest my head upon, and a bowl of hot stew."

2. "I'd rather sleep under the tree's branches than sup with harlots."

3. "Well, I don't approve of such activities, but if they're kind to wayfarers, they can't be all that wicked..."

4. *mumble prayers of relief to the Maiden while idly checking your remaining coin*

3..

[Prince Auron Nymeros Martell]

(Jon)

> *screenshot of pleasant tavern with two floors, a stable, and smoke rising from a chimney*

AN HOUR LATER...

> *screenshot of friendly looking older woman with a rather impressive bosom for 16-bit graphics*

"Hello! Welcome to the Grumpkin's Delight! Ooh, a holy man! I love a good holy man! We get so many of the bad ones! Tee hee!"

1. "I assure you, madame, I am certainly the good kind! I have weeded out corruption wheresoever I may find it in the sight of the Seven!"

2. "Oh, I am not so good as all that, madame." *wink lasciviously*

3. "Oh my..." *blush heartily*

4. *mumble prayers of relief to the Maiden while idly checking your remaining coin*

********

(Chris)

> *screenshot of pleasant tavern with two floors, a stable, and smoke rising from a chimney*

AN HOUR LATER...

> *screenshot of friendly looking older woman with a rather impressive bosom for 16-bit graphics*

"Hello! Welcome to the Grumpkin's Delight! Ooh, you've been on the road awhile! Perhaps a good scrub, my dearie?"

1. "Yes, please!"

2. "Not from you, old woman! I'll take a dark haired lass! And a fairone! And a Dornish one, I love me a good Dornish one!"

3. "Thank you, madame, but I am here on more serious business. I seek work of Gregor Clegane and his master, Prince Joffrey Baratheon."

4. "I'll just settle for a bit of grub, if you don't mind."

******

(Zack)

"Well, Your Eminence, I expect you'll feel quite welcome at the Grumpkin's Delight just down the road. Miss Margaery is accustomed to servicing the higher classes of King's Landing, if you know what I mean! I'm sure she'll certainly feed and rest Your Eminence, if you're so inclinded."

1. "Ahh, a brothel? Spectacular! Too long I have been locked away in the archive, with only Archmaester Golbez's Portrait of a Fishmonger's Daughter for company!"

2. "Oh, well, who am I to refuse fine Crownlands cuisine! Lead on, my good man! Ooh, I so hope they have the broiled lobster bisque..."

3. "Well, if that's what you have, that's what you have. One more fortnight and I'll be supping with the king. I guess this is what Archmaester Marwyn so coyly calls an adventure. Well, a passage on a ship would've been pretty damn adventurous, you cackling little git, and shorter to boot! Oh ho, when I am Grand Maester, just wait until he visits the court, and I tell Robert that perchance we should close the port. And then we close down all the boot stores... hehehe... It'll be glorious..."

[Lucion Lannister]

1

[King Artys V Arryn]

Dec 7, 2015 11:31:37 GMT Prince Auron Nymeros Martell said:

(Jon)

> *screenshot of pleasant tavern with two floors, a stable, and smoke rising from a chimney*

AN HOUR LATER...

> *screenshot of friendly looking older woman with a rather impressive bosom for 16-bit graphics*

"Hello! Welcome to the Grumpkin's Delight! Ooh, a holy man! I love a good holy man! We get so many of the bad ones! Tee hee!"

1. "I assure you, madame, I am certainly the good kind! I have weeded out corruption wheresoever I may find it in the sight of the Seven!"

2. "Oh, I am not so good as all that, madame." *wink lasciviously*

3. "Oh my..." *blush heartily*

4. *mumble prayers of relief to the Maiden while idly checking your remaining coin*

3.

[Princess Marjory Gardener]

Dec 6, 2015 22:32:49 GMT Prince Auron Nymeros Martell said:

-Press Start-

>*Screenshot of stereotypical white male peasant against the backdrop of a wooded path*

"Oh! Pardon for bumping into you on this long and winding road to King's Landing! My eyes are going in my old age!"

1: "Oh, fear not, brother, for I am but a weary traveler myself, tasked by the Most Devout to minister to a small Sept in the Crownlands."

2: "I piss on your eyes, old man! If you were one of my father's servants, I'd have you flogged here and now!"

3: "The error is mine. I have only been anointed a fortnight and I fear my senses are not as keen yet as they should be."

4: "Oh, well, that's convenient, mate! You'll hardly miss your coin then. Hand it over!"

5: "And mine were buried in this tome! I am so dreadfully worried the Citadel did not properly prepare me for my new appointment!"

3.

[Prince Auron Nymeros Martell]

(Jon)

> *screenshot of friendly looking older woman with a rather impressive bosom for 16-bit graphics*

"Oh, dearie! Well, let's get you some food! Boar stew, my sweetling!"

> *screenshot of a meal that would presumably look much more delicious with a better graphics engine*

AFTER DINNER

1. "I think I've been poisoned! I feel the Stranger's touch upon my bowels!"

2. "Well, that was... unexpected."

3. "More! MORE!"

4. "I'd hate to see the whores in this place..."

********

(Chris)

> *screenshot of friendly looking older woman with a rather impressive bosom for 16-bit graphics*

"But of course! GEEEEERTRUUUUUUUUDE!"

> *screenshot of bathtub, with buxom wench tastefully concealed by bubbles*

HALF AN HOUR LATER

1. "I swear, it''s not contagious!"

2. "I swear, that's never happened before!"

3. "I swear I'll love you until death takes me!"

4. "Hand over the soap, love, and I'll return the favor."

5. "...Mediocre."

[King Artys V Arryn]

Dec 7, 2015 22:49:18 GMT Prince Auron Nymeros Martell said:

(Jon)

> *screenshot of friendly looking older woman with a rather impressive bosom for 16-bit graphics*

"Oh, dearie! Well, let's get you some food! Boar stew, my sweetling!"

> *screenshot of a meal that would presumably look much more delicious with a better graphics engine*

AFTER DINNER

1. "I think I've been poisoned! I feel the Stranger's touch upon my bowels!"

2. "Well, that was... unexpected."

3. "More! MORE!"

4. "I'd hate to see the whores in this place..."

4.

[Prince Auron Nymeros Martell]

(Marie)

> *screenshot of terrified peasant*

"Oh, I'm just a poor woodsman! I've never offended no lordling, and I was a squire during the rebellion! Please don't chop me head off with a single swing of your mighty sword arm. I ain't never disrespected the Black Prince either."

1. "Please don't fret, I'm just a hedge knight making my own way in the world. My father was a pig farmer, so I understand your plight! But not who this Black Prince is you speak of."

2. "'tis natural to fear a knight's countenance, I know, but I have only slain a few bandits so far. This country needs a proper war, so I might test my steel and impress my next lord! Perhaps confronting this Black Prince will cement my reputation!"

3. "The only prince I serve is Renly, and he's hardly black. In need of a good tan, if anything. I'm to meet him in King's Landing and serve as his... companion."

4. "Hahaha! That is priceless! So much better than being a sellsword! The money was good, but there was no real respect, you know? But who is this Black Prince chap? Sounds Dornish..."


5. "Oh, stranger, I serve the Warrior! I am sworn to uphold the tenets of piety and justice in these diseased times. I fear this Black Prince is but another symptom..."

[Princess Marjory Gardener]

Dec 7, 2015 23:18:35 GMT Prince Auron Nymeros Martell said:

(Marie)

> *screenshot of terrified peasant*

"Oh, I'm just a poor woodsman! I've never offended no lordling, and I was a squire during the rebellion! Please don't chop me head off with a single swing of your mighty sword arm. I ain't never disrespected the Black Prince either."

1. "Please don't fret, I'm just a hedge knight making my own way in the world. My father was a pig farmer, so I understand your plight! But not who this Black Prince is you speak of."

2. "'tis natural to fear a knight's countenance, I know, but I have only slain a few bandits so far. This country needs a proper war, so I might test my steel and impress my next lord! Perhaps confronting this Black Prince will cement my reputation!"

3. "The only prince I serve is Renly, and he's hardly black. In need of a good tan, if anything. I'm to meet him in King's Landing and serve as his... companion."

4. "Hahaha! That is priceless! So much better than being a sellsword! The money was good, but there was no real respect, you know? But who is this Black Prince chap? Sounds Dornish..."


5. "Oh, stranger, I serve the Warrior! I am sworn to uphold the tenets of piety and justice in these diseased times. I fear this Black Prince is but another symptom..."

5.